If there is one area of our business that we know is deficient, it is this - our catch phrases.
They're getting better. Can you guess what we used to call our new member introductory program that provided three workouts with a trainer, a fitness evaluation and a free consultation with a nutritionist? We called it "our new member introductory program that provides three workouts with a trainer, a fitness evaluation and a free consultation with a nutritionist." We were nothing if not descriptive.
Others in the industry were clearly way ahead of us on this. At our clubs, for example, our members taking part in group cycling classes get their heart rates up and burn lots of calories. Do you know what "group cycling" is at other clubs? We only became aware recently that, according to a cycle boutique in Virginia Beach, that's a "fat-burning journey."
Hey, we get it. You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle. Like everybody else, we started using "Couch to 5K" to describe what happens when members start training for a 5K for the first time. "Water Babies" is just adorable as a name for the babies' swim class. "WaterWorks" is an aquatics class predominantly attended by seniors - we didn't want to put "senior" in the name, since people who work in marketing yell at you if you do that. One of our trainers is doing a "Core Ultimate Training" small group class … so it's called CUT. That's cool.
Once we had those names coming along, we felt quite in tune with the New Millennium. Then things like "fat-burning journey" started popping up and we felt blindsided. What, we couldn't just say "burn lots of calories"?
We think it's the fault of "The Biggest Loser." All of those loud trainers yelling at people on national TV telling us that "if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail," and how we have to take our "power" back.
Thankfully, our staff members - most of whom are much younger than we are - are helping. What we would call a "giant set" of ab exercises is now the "ab challenge" that our members line up to do under the watchful eye of our trainer who crafted it.
Do you know what we used to say if we had a good workout and really felt like we gave it our all? We'd say, "That was a good workout," which is so yesterday. Now it's "beast mode." (You can throw a "baby" in there too, as in "Beast mode, baby!")
And don't think that yoga practitioners are being left behind while practicing their ancient art. No, no, because remember: "Whatever position you're in is the position you are meant to be in."
You gotta have your catch phrases, people, and we need more. Anyone have a favorite? Let's hear them!