How To Deal With Negativity on Social Media

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I hate that Iโ€™m addicted to Twitter. There, I said it. Itโ€™s already bad enough that there are moments (a lot of moments) that my wife will hide my iPhone so I canโ€™t check Twitter.

Abc Speaker StampItโ€™s my nervous twitch. A third wheel.

Iโ€™m addicted to Twitter, not only because of the information it provides, but Iโ€™m fascinated by the interactions between people who seemingly donโ€™t know each other. Social media and Twitter is a great place to exchange ideas, have a civil discourse with others and follow the course of events and news in real time.

Twitter has opened the door for personal accomplishmentโ€Šโ€”โ€Šhelping me land my current job at Miamiโ€Šโ€”โ€Šand develop connections that have resulted in both personal and professional relationships.

Thatโ€™s the good of Twitter.

Unfortunately, Twitterโ€Šโ€”โ€Šor, more accurately, the users of Twitterโ€Šโ€”โ€Šhave a dark side. For every good-intentioned tweet or Twitter user, there is a bad one. And if youโ€™ve ever managed a social media account for a team or organization, you know what Iโ€™m talking about. Perhaps even worse, student-athletes from high school to major college athletics catch the vitriol as well.

Related: Nine Social Media Dos and Don'ts for Student-Athletes

All this has me wondering: When did we become a society full of so much hate?

Twitter and social media didnโ€™t create human behavior, it has only exposed it for the world to see. Itโ€™s sad, itโ€™s scary, and itโ€™s disheartening.

There are many people who just canโ€™t stand to share joy with others. If they are miserable, then they want us to be miserable.

ESPN sideline reporter Sam Ponder, who I met when she was still Samantha Steele and working for FOX College Sports, wrote this heartfelt, eye-opening blog of how lies have overtaken truth on Twitterโ€Š โ€” โ€Šand how people she doesnโ€™t even know have said some pretty awful things about her.

Social media has allowed all of us to share our thoughts and ideas with the world. Thatโ€™s a good thingโ€ฆ for the most part. But the bad news is that social media has allowed all of us to share our thoughts and ideas with the worldโ€ฆ seemingly without accountability.

It makes some days harder than others.

I have battled my own insecurities for the better part of 15 years. Growing up, I allowed other peopleโ€™s opinions define who I was as a person. Even though Iโ€™m a successful 31-year-old with a good job, a good education, a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids, I still allow others to define me.

And the student-athletes we mentor deal with these issues too. As Ponder so eloquently stated, โ€œWe let broken people tell us how broken we are.โ€

Angry fans now tweet death threats and various levels of nastiness (from the G-rated โ€œYou suckโ€ to the NC-17 rated profanity-laced tirades) to high school athletes, college student-athletes and pro athletes after losses and injuries.

Why so much hate?
...
I was picked on as a kid. Iโ€™ve been picked on an as an adult. Those who pick on others feed off low self-esteem and they capitalize.

At one time in my life, I was angry because I was the source of other peopleโ€™s ire. I hated that feeling. I vowed to change. How do we avoid all of this? The answer is: we canโ€™t.

Every day, weโ€™re all striving to improve ourselves โ€” mentally, personally and professionally. The only way we can do that in the digital age is to block out the negative and accentuate the positive and teach our student-athletes to do the same.

Itโ€™s not easy.

Even some of the positive quotes and comments I tweet elicit negative feedback or โ€œsub-tweetsโ€. (Which is a term I just learned.) Just ask one of your players after a bad game. They get more criticism than anyone. Some people are just more comfortable being full of anger.

All I want in life is to be happy with myself. There have been days Iโ€™ve wanted to give up, but I pick myself up and move forward.

In the words of author Jon Gordon:

Donโ€™tโ€ฆ

  • ever give up
  • let fear keep you from your goals
  • allow the opinion of others to define you
  • confuse fame with success
  • stop improving

As professionals in the athletic industry, we cannot waste our time and energy on the envious and bitter. And we have to teach our student-athletes the same. Instead, let's invest our time and energy on the humble and grateful.

Chris Yandle is the assistant athletic director/communications at the University of Miami (FL.) He will also be speaking at this year's Athletic Business Conference & Expo. You can follow him on Twitter, @ChrisYandle.

Read more from Chris:

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