Q&A with Jacques Lamoureux, 20-year-old hockey forward, about his battle with depression.
Q: How do you define depression, and how did you come to grips with it?
A: It's a chemical imbalance, and sometimes it can be treated with medicine. But, with me, I made a conscious decision. I threw my medicine away and said, "I need to beat this on my own." I started opening up to my psychologist, and that really helped us take a big step forward.
Q: Did you ever fear that depression would force you to step away from hockey?
A: No one ever advised me to step away, but I wanted to quit many times. I was frustrated. My focus wasn't entirely on hockey, so I wasn't playing very well and I was sitting out a lot. I wasn't used to that. My coaches didn't know what was going on. I don't know if they would have let me play at all had they known.
Q: Have you let your teammates know about your past?
A: I helped start up a Fellowship of Christian Athletes group within our team, and I told everybody about the situation and what I went through. I was captain of our team this year, and so for them to hear that that kind of stuff happened to me was an eye-opener.
Q: Will you continue to enlighten others about depression through your speaking?
A: Whenever I get an opportunity and I can do it, I do it. I love doing it, and people really appreciate my being able to step up and talk about a very touchy issue. What I find most rewarding is when people come up to me afterward and say, "I'm going through the same thing. This has inspired me to find new ways to seek help."
Q: Do you feel you've personally conquered the illness?
A: I think I can honestly say that it's always going to stay in my past. I've had some pretty tough situations come up since then - a good friend is battling cancer - that could send someone like me spiraling into depression again. But I'm fine now. I've been using my past to try to help other people. It has been more of a good thing than a bad thing.
